I need a wig, where do I start?!

It’s the stuff of nightmares. Your hair is falling out in clumps, due to alopecia or chemotherapy. Or it has grown so thin, you can’t continue hiding it under caps, headbands or powdered makeup. You realize you might need a wig. Where you do you start?  If you're in Lansing, or Grand Rapids or Metro Detroit in Michigan (or anywhere else, for that matter), odds are you're going to turn to Google and search for "Wigs in Lansing, Michigan".

The process of searching, evaluating and buying wigs can seem daunting. The price might seem out of reach. You might be afraid of looking like you’re wearing a Halloween costume wig instead of hair. The process of replacing your natural hair with a wig – or, as the medical industry terms it “cranial prosthesis” -  is scary. You don't know if you want a synthetic wig or a human hair wig and you won't know anything about a "lace front cap" and the third result you see is "Cheap Fashion Wigs", surely, not something you want at all!

First, it’s helpful if you have photographs of yourself before you began losing your hair. Gather up photos of yourself when you had a full head of hair, look at hairstyles that you like in magazines, or on web sites like Pinterest. Although losing your hair can be scary, it also gives opportunity for changing your look or having the hair you always wished you had!

A visit to a wig salon is your next step. A private, comfortable space where you can have a private consultation with a wig and hair style specialist is a positive and comfortable way of exploring your options. There are many options for wigs, including full wigs in both synthetic or human hair, toppettes (which clip to your remaining hair), extensions and even integrated wig extensions that incorporate your real hair.  A private consultation will ensure that you’re not overwhelmed by so many wigs, and help you explore options at a comfortable pace. If you want to bring a trusted friend or loved one, or come alone, it’s all up to you.

You probably googled Wigs and ended up at this site. And you know in your search there are thousands (millions) of listings about wigs, but are they good wigs? A great wig is an extension of you. It should make you feel beautiful, confident and, well, you.

You can’t tell that a wig will make you feel your best just from a web site. Nor can you know what hair replacement options are best for you. If you have androgenic alopecia or thining hair, you might be able to incorporate your own hair in to an integrated wig. If you are losing your hair for a short time, such as for chemotherapy, your options might be different than if you have alopecia or hormonal hair loss that can last for many years or even be permanent.

Gather up your photos and ideas, and scheduling a private consultation at a wig salon is your best option for feeling your beautiful self again.

Hair or Not, It's really OK.

It’s hard to believe that its been 2 whole years since I shaved off all my hair in an attempt to briefly understand what it would be like to wear a wig on a daily basis.  It was definitely something that I will never forget.

I have had many people ask me what my experience was like and ask me to write about it. I always meant to write about it sooner, but time got away from me and quite frankly I thought to myself, “who cares?” Who cares what I, a person who has hair, who made the “choice” to shave my head, only to have it grow back immediately with no pain and no sickness thinks? Who really cares?? And seriously, I still feel that way.  I don’t really care about my experience at all. What I do care about is each and every woman that I have helped on her journey through hair loss. I care deeply about every story that I have heard and I am humbled and grateful for the trust that these women have put in me to educate them and provide them with quality hair replacement options.

I have the pleasure of serving women who have no choice. They have absolutely no choice whether they have their own hair or not. Some are sick with cancer and lose their hair to chemo. Others have autoimmune diseases and their hair just falls out without any warning and without any rhyme or reason. There are women who have hereditary hair loss or excessive thinning.  Some, through no choice of their own, have a disorder in which they are compelled to pull out their own hair. There are many different reasons women lose their hair.  The feelings and emotions that accompany hair loss are also entirely unique with each person.

I’ve known women who, when faced with hair loss due to chemotherapy choose to shave their heads immediately before any hair starts to fall out. I’ve also known women who choose to hold on to every last strand.  There are women who are comfortable wearing hats and scarves. Some women are fine with super thin hair. There are women who grieve deeply the loss of their long thick hair while others couldn’t care less. What I have learned through all of my experiences with each woman that I encounter is that whatever they are feeling and whatever they choose to do or not do with their hair is OK.

 I had someone once say to me that a bald head seemed like a badge of courage for a woman going through chemo. Maybe it is. If a woman feels that her bald head is her badge of courage, then it should be. Not every woman feels that way and that is OK too. It shouldn’t be any less a badge of courage if a woman wants to wear a wig while she goes through chemo.

Chemo and sickness are not the only reasons people lose their hair. Some women lose hair for no apparent reason at all. They are not sick, yet if they walk around with a bald head they get looked at with eyes of sympathy and sadness because people assume they are sick. Again, if someone with long term hair loss decides that a wig is not for them and they are comfortable rocking their baldness, then I say, you go girl! If they decide they want to buy some hair to wear, then there is no shame in that either.

I’ve been asked many times why I do what I do. Why do I want to work with wigs? The answer is simple. I love to make women feel beautiful and I love to create beauty.

Should a woman feel beautiful just because of who she is on the inside? Yes. Should a woman be able to walk around with whatever hair she has or does not have and still feel beautiful? Absolutely. Should a woman have confidence because she is smart and capable? Yes. Should a woman be able to go to a meeting with no hair and not get looked at with sad or inquisitive eyes? Yep. Should her colleagues assume she is able to complete the job at hand with excellence? You bet! Do all of these things happen all of the time in the world that we live in? Nope. Is it right? No way! Will they ever happen all the time? I sure hope so.

In my experience with women and hair, I have found that it is so much more about how she feels than how she actually looks. I can tell a woman all day long that she looks fabulous in a short haircut, but at the end of the day if she “feels” ugly and unfeminine, then its not the right cut for her. She needs to “feel” fabulous.

I had many people tell me that I looked beautiful with a bald head. It was very kind of people to say and I’m sure they meant it. However, I didn’t “feel” beautiful. I felt naked and I felt like someone else. I didn’t feel like me. 

So when I’m asked how it was to wear a wig, my answer is always the same; it sucked. (Not great for business, I know!) Sometimes it was completely hot, completely itchy and completely annoying as hell. BUT it always felt completely like me. It felt like I could go anywhere and not have people look at me strange or weird. It felt like I still looked like myself and that mattered to me. The bottom line is, a wig was what I needed. It isn’t what everyone needs and that is OK. If I would’ve been a hat or scarf person, I would have worn them. I’m NOT and that’s OK. If I would’ve felt comfortable rocking my bald head, I would have. I didn’t and that’s OK. Its ok that I liked wearing a wig because it made me feel like“ME”.  

This is what I really want every woman to know when I work with her and her individual hair loss. IT’S ALL OK. If a woman feels like her best self with a hat or a scarf on, it’s OK. If a woman feels like her best self with thin fine hair, it’s OK. If a woman feels like her best self with no hair, it’s OK. If a woman feels like her best self with a wig or a hairpiece on, it’s OK.  My goal is to meet every woman where she is at and support her there. In the end, if that means she doesn’t get a wig, well then that’s OK with me too.

"So, what's with the prayer?"

"So, what's with the prayer?" This question was posed by one of my clients. I figured the blank stare and ensuing silence on my part probably wasn't going to be good enough in the future so I better mull this one over for awhile and come up with a better answer.

The very short answer for why I settled on the name A Wig and a Prayer is that I had a dream about it. I woke up in the morning and there it was right on the tip of my tongue. I thought it sounded clever and it went along with who I am, so I quickly wrote it down and the rest is history. For those of you who like the "bottom line" and you like it quickly, you can stop reading now. You’re welcome.

If you are still reading, the above paragraph told you a little about my personality. I am a big picture person. I have an uncanny ability to find the bottom line in everything. I also tend to be searching for it in everything I hear and read. So that paragraph was for all of my fellow "bottom liners" out there. Those of you still reading are probably just curious or you are more detail-oriented people. That’s ok too. Detailed people write amazing books, tell great stories, read (and follow) the directions and clean up while cooking. Details are great as long as I am able to pinpoint the bottom line in them somewhere. If not, you may encounter my "open mouth; glassy-eyed; for the love of all that is good and holy, what is this person getting at?" stare. Now you know.

Maybe it’s just who I am or maybe it has something to do with being a hairdresser. I spend a lot of time listening to long stories about hair (and relationships and family and work and life.) I have to quickly decipher what someone wants and how I am going to turn them into Jennifer Aniston in 45 short minutes. Let me tell you, women can come up with some LONG stories about their hair only to decide in the end that we will be taking a ¼ inch off the bottom. Either way, I do think that being this way makes me a better hairdresser because I have the ability to understand what someone is really trying to say, when they have said SO MUCH more than that.

The longer version of why I decided on A Wig and a Prayer must begin with telling you a little about my faith. I believe in one God who exists in three persons: God the father, Jesus Christ the son, and The Holy Spirit. I am a sinner saved by grace through the faith that I have placed in Jesus Christ. I believe that the Bible is God's true word and that it lays out His redemptive plan for sinners. It teaches me about God and is my instruction manual for life. 2 Timothy 3:15-17 says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Since I'm not even sure what the previous paragraph means, let me sum that up for you: I'm a big loser (recovering), God loves me anyway (and thinks I'm awesome), Jesus gave his life to secure my spot in heaven (amazing), the Holy Spirit teaches me and reminds me when I'm being an idiot (daily) and I can (and should) go to the Bible before google, (always). But let’s face it, you’re just not going to learn how to clean every inch of your house with only vinegar or a million things to do with a coffee filter in the Bible. Just sayin.'

Getting back to the “What’s with the prayer?” question. Aside from the catchy play on words and the obvious divine intervention via dreams, I used the name because of my faith. I believe in the power of prayer. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I think that a lot of women who are facing or experiencing hair loss are fearful or worried about it. I know that I am. I'm afraid I will be ugly. I'm afraid I will lose my femininity. I'm afraid my husband will be totally freaked out by me. I'm afraid people will stare at me. I'm afraid people will judge me. I'm afraid I will look weird in a wig. I should probably stop now. I'm sure I could think of more.

Now I will close with a short self-talk. (Feel free to use it yourself if you like): I believe God is who he says he is. I believe God keeps his promises. I believe God is trustworthy. I know that I can pray and "cast all my anxieties on him because he cares for me." (1 Peter 5:7) I believe that when I do this I can experience peace. Now I'm going to go write that on a notecard and post it on my bathroom mirror. What can I say? I have a short memory. 

Why I've decided to shave my head

First and foremost I want to say that I have no idea what it is like to be diagnosed with cancer or to have medical or hereditary baldness of any kind. I am doing this to try and understand the emotions that a woman goes through when she is faced with losing her hair and all that goes along with wearing a wig on a bald head. I do not want to make light of the seriousness of hair loss or to be insensitive to women who are going through hair loss due to a sickness. On the contrary, my goal in doing this is to illustrate the intensity of emotion that a women has toward her hair and the prospect of losing it.

I am realizing that hair loss is a very personal and very different experience for each woman I meet. I have decided that in order to speak intelligently about being bald, then I really must BE BALD. I am going to be talking to women about shaving their heads and wearing wigs and if I have never actually had to do that, it is much more difficult to give advice on the subject. I want to have first hand knowledge and a new level of compassion to share with my clients.

So this is why I have decided to shave my head. This October 10th I will be getting rid of all of my hair. October is breast cancer awareness month. It also marks one year since I went to a wig store with my friend and made the final decision to begin A Wig and a Prayer. I have chosen to share this journey because I want women to see that although hair loss is frightening, it does not have to be devestating. There are gorgeous, natural looking hair replacement options to make you look and feel beautiful!

There....I've said it out loud to the world. I guess I can't change my mind now! If you are interested, I will be sharing more about the whole process and the effect it has on me as a person, a wife, a mother, and a business owner. I'd love to hear your thoughts!